DAY 48 – KEY ASPECT: FINDING APPRECIATION

Twenty five years ago today I graduated high school and when I look back at myself and my close friends at that time I can see how we used to complain about so many different things. We became annoyed at our parents when they wouldn’t allow us to do something we wanted to do or required us to do chores around the house. We found teachers unfair who did not give us a grade we thought we should have received and we mocked kids if they did not seem as cool as we thought we were.

Becoming annoyed is not limited to being young. As we get older human beings find fault with so many different things about people and life in general. The only difference from those high school years is that adults have a wider range of things they can find displeasure with.

One way we show our displeasure in what someone said or did is when we gossip about that person. Talking negatively about a person to someone else is a form of complaining that says without actually saying it that so and so should not have behaved in a certain manner. We gossip to one’s spouse about other people. We gossip at work about other coworkers. We gossip to our friends about one’s spouse, children, parents or siblings. We gossip about politicians. We gossip about famous actors, singers and authors. It is as if there is an endless line of people that each of us can find fault with.

It is easy to become annoyed with other people. All that it takes is for someone to believe that others have to live by those silent words each of us say to ourselves. When someone doesn’t have a similar belief or doesn’t behave in a manner that each of us thinks they should, the usual result is disparaging thoughts about that person. Those disparaging thoughts become the annoyance that lives within each and every human being.

When annoyance takes hold it can stay within us for a long time. How many children never let go of what they experienced at the hands of classmates, siblings and even parents? How many adults find it hard to overcome a mistreatment by the person they have dated or married? Having a situation that we wish had never occurred live on in our minds well past the time it happened is like being given a life sentence for something that should have been a momentary blip on everyone’s life journey.

In our haste to find fault with a particular deed we overlook the good qualities someone has. That same person can be a good parent, spouse or friend. That same person can give you and others kind words when it is needed. That same person can go out of his or her way to lend a helping hand. And most importantly, that same person can exude kindness, friendship and love.

Human beings have so many good qualities that we could appreciate them if we stopped focusing our attention upon what we do not like. Instead of becoming annoyed at a particular action look at the instances where you see the best in yourself and others. Each of us is off one percent but turning your attention to those times when you or someone else is not at their best ignores and sets aside when people are at their best. Appreciating the times when you and others are nice, kind, considerate and respectful makes all the difference in how each of us thinks and feels.

Removing annoyance is an absolute must for inner harmony. Forgiving the perpetrator of their misdeeds frees each of us of the psychological burden that we inflict upon ourselves when we keep the past alive in our minds. The new found freedom of not having to replay past annoyances is that we can enjoy the here and now, especially with the people we love.

I have changed since my high school days because I now realize that when I get annoyed at someone for not acting in a certain manner it is because at that moment I have put aside their better qualities. When I have become disheartened at something I have done it also is because I put aside my better qualities that I try to live my life by. Appreciating the best in myself and others is important for letting go of annoyance and is essential for personal enjoyment and happiness.