DAY 58 – KEY ASPECT: HABITS

I know a fifty year old man who has an alcohol and drug addiction. When he occasionally does not drink or take drugs he is a good worker. Unfortunately, he cannot go for more than a week or two until his addiction takes over which prevents him from holding a steady job.

One day when he was sober I asked him when he started to drink and take drugs. He said he was sixteen years old. I then asked him if there was anything that happened prior to him starting to drink and take drugs that may have contributed to him becoming addicted to it. He said a few months before he took his first drink his father died. As we continued to talk it became obvious that at the age of sixteen his sadness and loneliness from the loss of his father led him to medicate himself with alcohol and drugs. As time went on alcohol and drugs became a daily routine.

Habits usually have the most simplest of beginnings. One day each of us does something and for some reason we do the exact same thing a second time. Before we realize it years have gone by and a daily or weekly habit has become a constant in each of our lives.

Habits do not have to be as catastrophic as this fifty year old person’s daily addiction. It can be the everyday routine of eating certain foods, taking a certain road to work, watching certain television programs or having a particular hobby. When a person does the same thing over and over again it is a personal habit that is part of his or her life.

Another habit human beings have is how each of us reacts to other people. When something does not go as you want it to some people get easily upset with an annoyance that sometimes erupts into fits of anger. They may get into arguments with their loved ones while staying calm with everyone else. They may poorly treat their employees and co-workers while staying calm with their children. On the other hand, many people just ignore the unpleasantries of others and continue on as if nothing has happened. Over time every person develops certain habitual reaction behaviors to certain people and what is going on around them.

There is also one other very important thing we might not think of as a habit but is none-the-less a habit. The silent words that we repeat to ourselves over and over again make up a person’s thought habits.

Consider the silent thoughts that people have who have low self-esteem, worry a lot, are egocentric, dislike and hate other people who are different than they are or believe in a particular ideology. A person who thinks of oneself as unworthy or incompetant says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who worries about themself, their loved ones or something going on in the world says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who thinks of oneself as superior and more worthy than their fellow human beings says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who dislikes or hates other people says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who has a particular philosophy of life says something to themself specifically related to that. No matter what the initial reason for thinking in a certain way about oneself or others and no matter how a person justifies in their mind those thoughts, repeating a thought over and over again creates a personal thought habit that is part of that individual’s life.

While human beings are one percent off because we do not always act in a beneficial manner for oneself, others and the earth, our ability to do the right thing the other ninety-nine percent of the time shows that our thoughts and behavior habits do us well at those times. Consistently showing kindness, consideration and respect towards your fellow human beings is a life enhancing habit. Consistently taking time away from a personal interest to give time to a family member, friend, neighbor or people in need is a habitual behavior towards others. Consistently reducing your carbon footprint and acting in a manner that helps the earth to thrive is a habitual behavior towards the earth.

Thinking about this person with an alcohol and drug addiction, I now realize that there are all kinds of habits that human beings have. I understand that there are certain thought and behavior habits that are detrimental to a better life and a better world while other thought and behavior habits help to create a better life and better world. I am the only person that can decide which habits will be a part of my life.