DAY 38 – KEY ASPECT: ONE’S FAMILY

I am at my friend’s house eating dinner with his family. Throughout the meal and during the rest of the night they are constantly talking to one another. They share what each of them did that day and what they will be doing tomorrow. They calmly discuss world affairs even when there are different points of view. They interject jokes and laughter into their discussions. All of this is in sharp contrast with my family who has a history of rarely having any meaningful dialogue along with bouts of anger, yelling and belittling one another.

A person’s family home is where we spend our time with the people we love. It is a place where each of us comes back to night after night. There can be many places where someone lives but a real family home needs to be a personal sanctuary where each member finds comfort, feels at ease and everyone knows that they can be themselves without harsh criticism.

When there is discord at home it affects every person in the household. Having to experience a loved one getting upset creates a strained environment that permeates to all who live there. Everything becomes exacerbated and felt more deeply because it comes from someone you love and have to live with.

In the outside world we interact with so many different people with many of them being complete strangers. Some of those encounters turn into a discomforting situation or a more pronounced heated argument. In each case what ends up happening is both parties to the unpleasantness eventually leave the scene and no one has to look back if they choose not to.

With family members this is a completely different story. Living in the same home requires a peaceful family setting for everyone involved. It is just as important for parents as it is for each child. Every family member is a separate and unique individual with their own thoughts and feelings. Having to endure tension in a place that is supposed to be a safe haven can be very upsetting as well as difficult to handle.

Think about all of the ramifications that develop for a family member who has to deal with harsh words and detrimental actions that someone continually creates in their mutual home. When it becomes pronounced and it seems to be never ending turning to drugs or alcohol can seem a reasonable response. Because of too much turmoil and unhappiness a spouse may eventually decide to end the marriage. Children often cannot wait to leave and go on their own, even if they are not psychologically ready to do so.

A family home at its best is there to enhance everyone’s life. It is a nurturing environment where it instills a sense of inward peace and joy. It allows each individual person to believe that his or her personal desires in life will come to fruition and are aided by those they love. While the home is where the heart is, it also is a place where every single person should thrive.

On my way home later that evening, I now realize that family dynamics is of such extreme importance that it has a bearing on whether each member has an optimistic outlook on life or becomes disheartened. The family home needs to be a place where every person can believe they are safe, secure and know that he or she is loved, respected and valued.