DAY 28 – KEY ASPECTS OF BEING HUMAN (THAT AFFECTS OUR ABILITY TO MEET THE BASIC REQUIREMENTS)

I am on a safari in Africa. As we travel along a road the guide continually points out the various species of animals and tells us about their specific traits, capabilities and attributes. He tells us that every species on earth is unique from the perspective of having certain key aspects unto themselves that affects their ability to survive and thrive.

When we think about ourselves we are no different in having key aspects to being human that affects our ability to not only survive but to go beyond what any other species can do. Our minds can think through issues in a creative manner that allows us to try and find a better approach. Our arms, hands, fingers, legs and feet give us maneuverability that enables us to carry out our daily affairs in so many different ways.

We also have other aspects to being human that play a role in each individual’s personal life as well as in society as a whole. A person’s ability to have fewer or more difficulties are related to these key aspects. Humanity’s collective ability to have fewer or more problems are related to these key aspects. By understanding how these key aspects form many of the connections of the human jigsaw puzzle and having a more in-depth understanding of what we do and why we do it we will have greater insights into human life that is important in achieving the nine basic requirements for a better life and better world.

Thinking about how all species have certain key aspects that are unique to them, I now realize that I need to have a greater understanding about what affects my ability to have a better life. The more I know the more effective I will become in making my life better, contributing to other people having better lives and contributing to a clean and sustainable earth.

DAY 29 – KEY ASPECT: HUMAN EVOLUTION

My grandfather is telling me about his life. He describes himself in ways that I never knew before. He’s telling me what he enjoyed doing, his aspirations and the knowledge he accumulated at various points during the course of his life. I am starting to understand my grandfather not just by my interactions with him but from a perspective of how he has changed over the years.

He says I will change too as I get older. I will do certain things when I am young that I will not do in the future. I will have certain friends based upon what I am interested in now and then move on because other things will become more of a priority. I may not have one job for my entire life because I will find something else I prefer to do.

The one thing he emphasized is that I will become a person who grows as a human being not just in height but in developing more insights and understandings about life. With more knowledge I should be able to make more accurate and life enhancing decisions. My personal evolution into a higher consciousness will not only enable me to live my life with fewer problems it will also enable me to contribute more effectively in making this a holistically better world for everyone.

Some of my growth into a higher awareness will be the result of just figuring out certain things on my own. Other times I will grow as a human being because I will learn from my mistakes and learn from the misdeeds of others of what not to do. The realization that I do not want to think or behave in a manner that contributes to personal or societal difficulties can be a powerful force for change.

My grandfather then started telling me how humanity as a whole also evolves over time. Many societal situations that were accepted in the past as the norm but were actually detrimental to the well being of human beings are no longer tolerated. Practices that were outright cruel have been discarded with many being made illegal. Ideologies that were recognized as valid concepts to live one’s life by but in real terms hinders humanity’s ability to live in peace, cooperation and prosperity have been countered by caring people who stand up for a just and equitable world.

Because of my grandfather’s insights into life I now realize that I will make a concerted effort to evolve over the coming years into a better human being. Generations after generations have been striving to make this a better world and those of us who are alive today have a responsibility to be part of humanity’s continual evolutionary march forward.

DAY 30 – KEY ASPECT: THOUGHTS AND THE POWER OF WORDS

I am sitting at a table in a cafe where every tuesday evening people gather for hours to talk about life. The discussions cover every imaginable topic with people sharing their beliefs and points of view that help us gain more insight into the various issues that are being discussed. The ability to freely express any idea or concept makes this event special.

Any belief, point of view, idea or concept a person has is actually their thoughts about something. Human beings live our lives in thoughts and what it comes down to is thoughts are the words every person says silently to himself or herself. These silent internal words have enormous power over the course each of us takes in life and the course for humanity as a whole. The individual journey as well as the collective human journey is directly related to human thoughts.

Thoughts are an integral component to what each of us believes in and what each of us does. We generate them based on our experiences of what we see, hear and read. Analysis of oneself, others, events and situations as well as ideas that we come up with are our internal thoughts. All of the things we discuss with people are thoughts. Anywhere we go or anything we do requires a thought beforehand. We cannot escape living our lives based upon the thoughts each of us have.

A person who becomes frustrated, annoyed or angry has different thoughts than when he or she is kind and considerate. The thoughts of those who get into verbal arguments are different than the thoughts of someone who is agreeable. Spouses, parents and children who yell at their loved ones have different thoughts than when they are in a calm and understanding state. The dynamics that unfolds in our interactions and personal relationships is determined by the type of thoughts people have.

How we conduct human affairs is also directly related to human thoughts. Philosophical beliefs that people adhere to are their thoughts about how to live their lives. A conservative, moderate or liberal economic and social policy viewpoint are just the thoughts people have about those issues. Business is conducted based upon the thoughts of the parties involved. The administrators of governments and their agencies have their own thoughts at the center of what to do and how to do it. How we collectively interact worldwide depends on the thoughts of human beings around the planet.

The desire for a better life and better world is universal. How can we achieve that if at times we do not have the appropriate thoughts that will bring it about? How will we be able to achieve the basic requirements for a better life and better world if we do not have the appropriate belief systems, which is nothing more than the appropriate thoughts that will bring it? In every scenario there are a set of thoughts associated with each outcome.

Too often human beings rationalize and justify their beliefs and actions. They ignore the obvious signs that something is amiss with certain points of view and the actions taken based on those thoughts. It may seem reasonable to behave in a certain manner but in hindsight it becomes obvious that behaviors detrimental for oneself, others and the earth is caused by the types of thoughts an individual has as well as the belief systems of an entire community of human beings.

All of the good that occurs in the world is based upon the benevolent thoughts that people have. Helping your fellow human being in their time of need and showing kindness, consideration and respect to everyone occurs when people think in those terms. Helping the earth to become clean and sustainable occurs when people think the earth requires such treatment. Believing in working together for a better tomorrow occurs when we think it is important to contribute our time to such an endeavor.

I now realize that my personal thoughts have a powerful influence over how I live my life and the collective thoughts of humanity have a powerful effect over what occurs in the world at large.

DAY 31 – KEY ASPECT: GETTING LOST IN THOSE SILENT WORDS

I am on a road that isn’t a road of asphalt or dirt. This road is a trail of the thoughts that wander and meander through my mind.

Thoughts can be similar to the roads and highways we drive and walk through. One road will take you to the next road which takes you to another road until you arrive at your destination. Similarly, one thought will take you to the next thought and then to another thought until you take action upon what you have been thinking.

Taking the same road to the same places and having the same thoughts that pertain to certain issues can be habit forming. Human beings have the tendency to repeat over and over again the everyday things that we do and this also applies to repeating in our minds a particular concept or idea that we come to believe in. The more times something is said silently to oneself, the more ingrained it becomes. After a period of years or decades a person’s beliefs seem so real that they take on a life of their own.

People have a tendency to become adamant about what they believe in because thinking the same thoughts hundreds, if not thousands, of times eventually makes them appear to have validity. When this happens people often do not put an effort into scrutinizing and re-evaluating what appears to make sense to determine if they actually have a beneficial or detrimental affect. With a steadfast attitude about an idea, ideology or action it does not allow new information to enter into the equation and we lose the ability to see a potentially better way of making life enhancing actions that affects oneself, others and the earth.

The problems people have in their personal life do not occur out of nowhere. There are specific thoughts that are associated with specific difficulties. Having poor relationships, engaging in violent acts, becoming verbally abusive, having drug and alcohol addictions, having low self-esteem, having an inflated sense of self-worth, doing poorly in school, not taking care of one’s health and many other personal difficulties develop when human beings get lost in those silent words that bring about their problems.

Societal issues also do not develop out of nowhere. Members of a specific nationality, religion, race, ethnicity and sexual orientation have certain problems that have built up over time, sometimes decades or even centuries. Specific thoughts about members of a group leads to specific actions on a societal level and both the thoughts and actions get passed down to the next generation. The succeeding generation then perpetuates the societal problems by adopting those specific ideas and ideologies that keep problems alive. Hatred and violence towards people who are different, wars between different groups, subjugation, mistreatment of women, poverty, economic difficulties, abuse of the earth and so many other societal issues stem from believing in ideas that are detrimental to living in a better world.

Life is not just about problems but also about the many good and beneficial things people do. People treat not only their loved ones with kindness, dignity and respect but also strangers from anywhere and everywhere on this planet. People come to the aid of others when someone is in a crisis and millions upon millions of people volunteer to help others in their daily living. From efforts to eliminate hunger to bringing people out of extreme poverty to helping animals to eliminating pollution to helping children thrive to giving assistance to the elderly to eliminating diseases to helping neighbors to rescuing people in life threatening situations and with so many other difficulties people around the planet show their genuine concern for their fellow human beings. The kindness and good that people do stem from the type of silent words associated with helping others that people say to themselves.

After contemplating about the thoughts that I have I now realize that too often the words I say silently to myself seem so real that I get lost in them to the detriment of my ability to objectively consider other contrary ideas. The beneficial actions that I take along with the actions detrimental to a better life and better world occur because of years of constantly saying certain words silently to myself.

DAY 32 – KEY ASPECT: ACCURATE AND FACTUAL THOUGHTS

I am at a family holiday dinner. All of us know each other very well and we often find ourselves in heated discussions over what is occuring in the world. On so many issues everyone seems to argue aggressively because each of us does not doubt the validity and accuracy of their beliefs. At the same time, no one ever deviates from what they believe in and we also are quick to find fault with another family member’s contrarian ideas.

When people argue to this degree over what they believe in it becomes difficult to get an even-handed perspective on an issue. We can understand steadfast beliefs because the one person each of us talks to more than anyone else is oneself. Every day hundreds, if not thousands, of words are said silently to oneself. No one is talking back to us giving feedback of a different perspective on the silent ideas we have. No one other than oneself is determining the accuracy and factuality of those silent words within each and every mind. Through every phase of life, we live our lives from this perspective.

Young children do not have the mental capacity to put the pieces of the puzzle of life together and to delve deeper into the shell. They do not understand what their parents are going through or any other human being. All they can do is believe in and react to the silent words that they say to themselves. There is no ability to assess the accuracy and factual basis to what a young child thinks and whether it will help or detract from people having a better life.

The teenage years bring about more knowledge and capabilities than when they were younger. Teenagers can go places and do things on their own without the constant protection of an adult. They start to see aspects of life that they didn’t before. They know that there are consequences to their actions but may dismiss them because the silent words they say to themselves makes them believe nothing detrimental will happen at that moment or in the future.

By the time we reach adulthood there is a hope that each of us has the capability to assess life realistically. Most of the time we do this with a beneficial result, not only for oneself but also for our fellow human beings. Other times, though, the silent words said by adults can be just as inaccurate as when they were younger with the consequences substantially greater.

For the people we care about the most, friends, people we date and our immediate family, inaccurate thoughts can have a devastating effect upon the relationship. Without realizing it, thoughts that may seem perfectly fine will in actuality contribute problems to the relationship. The expectations are much greater and everyone needs to consider the ramifications of which type of thoughts lead to more or less harmony.

When we look at humanity as a whole human beings have staunch personal economic and governmental philosophies based upon a belief that their thoughts are accurate about how to run the human household. Often times people with unyielding economic and political beliefs reject other ideas because they do not conform with those silent words people say about such issues. It becomes very difficult to make genuine and long lasting collective progress when people with differing thoughts about how to run the human household will not budge from the thoughts that they have.

Wars and violence are perpetrated upon humanity because of the belief in the accuracy and factual basis of the thoughts of the perpetrators of inhumane actions. Those silent words justify the dislike, hatred and mistreatment of others. They create a justification in their mind that makes it seem there is nothing wrong to keep certain individuals or an entire segment of humanity without rights or the ability to have a decent life. How can anyone successfully get through to someone that it is wrong to mistreat others when that person thinks there is a rationality to those type of thoughts

Humane progress that goes beyond the technological aspect requires accurate and factual thinking. We can create a world where humanity lives in peace, where no one lives in dire conditions, where the earth is clean and sustainable and where all of the requirements for a better world are met. By determining which silent words and which ideas that flow through our minds will actually create a holistically better world we can have more confidence that they can be the basis for our beliefs and actions.

On my way home from my family gathering I now realize that just because I have a thought does not mean that those silent words I say to myself are accurate, factual and beneficial to myself, my fellow human beings and to the earth. Without a factual foundation upon which we conduct personal and societal affairs our ability to find the best path forward will be left wanting.

DAY 33 – KEY ASPECT:  LEAVING IMPORTANT FACTS OUT OF THE EQUATION

I am sitting in a classroom listening to a lecture about foreign policy. The lecturer has spent decades involved with representatives of governments from around the planet. When a student questioned the accuracy of a point he had made the lecturer’s answer seemed dismissive and condescending. The lecturer acted as if he knew everything there is to be known about foreign policy.

Human beings have a tendency to think they have many, if not all, of the answers and solutions to life. Believing that their thoughts are accurate and factual people do not realize that many unknown variables are at work and anything can happen at any moment that may change the outcome of what is going on.

Look at how often we make assessments and judgements about an individual person, a specific group, a specific event or a specific situation without knowing and understanding all of the underlying aspects that have a bearing on what we are assessing and judging. We do not take into consideration that there is something deeper within every person, group, event and situation that has led to what has occurred in the past, is occurring at that moment or will occur sometime in the future. Our perspectives often do not tell the whole story.

While human beings need to assess what is going on in life and come to a viewpoint about it we must also learn as much as we can beforehand so that our assessments take into account a broader range of knowledge and insights. There will always be something that happens that we do not factor into our analysis but we need to be adaptable to the unknown and unforeseen. Sticking strictly to a point of view leaves no room for new information to enter into the equation which ultimately does not get us to where we want to be, accurate assessments and beneficial actions that lead to a better life and better world.

Listening to this lecturer I now realize that no human being can fully understand all of the underlying aspects of what occurs in life. Because of this I may leave important components out when making assessments about another human being, a particular group, an event or a specific situation. I have to learn as much as I can before coming to a perspective that may affect myself, my fellow human beings and planet earth.

DAY 34 – KEY ASPECT: ANTI-THOUGHTS

I have come across an internet site where people complain to one another about other people. Their discussions center around how much they dislike people who are of a different nationality, religion, race and ethnicity or have a different sexual orientation. This forum is also a place where they vent their anger and hatred for their jobs, co-workers, employers, politicians, ex-partners and family dynamics.

So much of the animosity that people have for another human being or those who belong to a different group than they do stems from the thoughts that they have about someone or some group. They think about them as “others” and use language that is unflattering, disparaging and outright negative.

There is a great difference in how people interact with and treat someone when they use the words dislike, disapprove, bad and hate compared to using the words approve, like, good and love. No one can have the requisite respect and kindness for an individual person or members of a group along with wanting to associate with them when they internally describe others in the most demeaning of terms.

It is one thing to not like a particular action that a person has taken or to disagree with a point of view about a certain situation but it is something completely different to have outright disdain based upon a person holding a different ideology or belonging to a different group. Breathing hostility into the air can lead to unimaginable consequences with far reaching implications. Harboring anti-thoughts keeps human beings apart and an inability for everyone to live in harmony with one another.

People who have deep seated anti-thoughts can justify such sentiments without any sound reasons. They have thoughts in their minds that do not meet the criteria of accurate and factual which usually leads to actions that go beyond just words. Depicting certain individuals and entire groups of human beings as inferior, stupid and incapable to succeed is a characterization intended to keep the target of anti-thoughts downtrodden and without the everyday rights to a better life. Physical assaults that break bones, death and full scale war between entire groups has been part of human history for far too long.

Those who hold such negative thoughts often find the least possible provocation for finding fault. They see a few instances of poor behavior by a single individual and believe that person acts that way all the time. They see certain behaviors by a few people who belong to a particular group and generalize it towards most or all members of that group. Magnifying any negativity out of realistic proportion makes getting along with their fellow human beings more difficult if not next to impossible.

The world will not get to where humanity wants it to get to until anti-thoughts are no longer a part of human consciousness. Sure human beings are one percent off and will not always say or do things to one’s liking, but to harbor disdain based upon disparaging thoughts towards an individual person or an entire group creates an atmosphere that is completely antithetical to a better life and better world.

After browsing through this internet site and seeing such anger and hatred I now realize that excessive negative thoughts that go beyond a simple disagreement about an ideology, an individual person or a specific group represents anti-thoughts about the subject of such thoughts. With this type of thinking people labeled as the “other” can become so despised that they are then considered the “enemy” even if it is not on the field of battle.

DAY 35 – KEY ASPECT: THE VERB TO BE AND GROUP IDENTIFICATION

I am talking to people who are members of a hate group. We are discussing the group they belong to and other human beings who are members of groups they dislike. In most cases they consider themselves as separate and distinct from their fellow human beings based upon nationality, religion, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation. After a period of time it becomes evident that the words people use to describe themselves and others play an enormous role in group identification.

At an early age we are taught about the verb to be. We learn the words am, are and is. These three words have enormous power when they are combined with I, you, we and they. I am and you are, we are and they are, I am and he is or I am and she is when used in connection with a nationality, religion, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation creates the underpinnings for people to think of themselves as not the same. It even occurs with political, economic and social ideologies, rooting for a sports team or favoring the community each of us lives in.

I am nationality A and you are nationality B. We are religion C and they are religion D. I am race E and he is race F. I am ethnicity G and she is ethnicity H. We are straight and they are gay. We are people who believe in these political, economic and social ideologies and they are people who believe in something different. We are people who live in this community and they are people who live somewhere else. The distinctions human beings make based upon group identification all have the verb to be at its center. Such distinctions make it easier for some to develop anti-thoughts about those who are different.

When people think of someone as different it can justify any type of depictions upon those who belong to the “other” group without any requirements for accuracy and factuality. Members of one’s own group can appear right while members of the “other” group who do something else are considered to be in the wrong. One’s own group can think of themselves as more deserving than people who belong to the “others”. Comparisons which are in the negative and sometimes outright hostile can develop towards the “others” when applied to group identification.

Every group has certain aspects of their culture and group identity that are passed down from generation to generation. While human beings everywhere go about their daily living in a similar fashion, the nuances of each group should make us bask in wonderment and not in vitriolic dislike. Differences should not be barriers to living cooperatively but the verb to be of I am and you are can instill in some a mindset that there is something wrong with those who are different and we should not work with or cooperate with the “others.” We all can learn more, enjoy more of what this world provides and have fewer problems when we rid ourselves of the language that divides us.

The verb to be also has profound connotations on how each of us thinks about the people we interact with. Saying the words he or she is bad, is stupid, is incompetant or anything demeaning and unflattering creates a mindset based upon looking at whatever you personally consider negative. Sometimes the assessment could be incorrect based upon one’s own personal beliefs or preferences. Sometimes the assessment ignores all of the other things a person does that you admire and believe in. No matter what the reasons for those negative thoughts they in and of themselves create a wall to better personal relationships.

The same can be said about using the verb to be about yourself. Saying silently I am bad, I am unworthy, I am incompetant and other negative judgments that follow I am can create a mindset that puts yourself down and lowers your personal self-esteem. With it comes not only emotional distress but also actions that may not be in your best interest.

Making an issue in your mind of all of the negativity that follows you are, they are, he is or she is ignores all of the things that other people do that are good, kind and beneficial for themselves and others. Believing that there is something profoundly wrong with you because of what follows I am ignores all of the good, kind and beneficial things you do for yourself and others. A realistic appraisal and language commensurate with it needs to follow the verb to be.

After talking to those individuals who hate certain people I now realize that the words I am/you are and we are/they are have a powerful influence over my beliefs about myself and my fellow human beings. Too often the verb “to be” creates problems by categorizing and separating human beings into people belonging to one’s “own” group and those who belong to the “other” group. The only I am and we are that unites the world is human.

DAY 36 – KEY ASPECT: BECOMING AFFECTED

I am sitting in a room filled with over one hundred people who are discussing their life stories. They tell one another the mundane things along with the most joyous of moments and those memories they wish they could forget. After hours of sharing themselves each person comes to understand that everyone has personal events and situations that are of such a momentous nature that it has an impact upon the rest of their lives. Whether it was something good or something they would never have wanted, each person’s recollections seemed so real to them as if they are telling a story that is happening at this very moment.

Within each person’s life there are certain experiences that become very troubling. A man in his thirties who had parents that argued a lot and yelled not only at one another but also at him when he was growing up still felt it to this day. A young woman reflected back at her time in school where she was made fun of and how ashamed she was of herself because of that. A man in his fifties who came from a country at war when he was a boy of ten thought about how difficult it was to live under such circumstances and how frightened he was witnessing the horrors of war. A woman in her seventies was married in her thirties for five years but had to end it because of the verbal and physical abuse at the hands of her husband that made her constantly afraid even to this day. A married couple told about a business partnership they went into with a co-worker and how that co-worker cheated them that made them leery to trust other people.

Being mistreated can be psychologically difficult and emotionally draining. Having to persevere through it when it happens is one aspect of having someone not treat them with dignity and respect. For some, the magnitude of the mistreatment left enduring memories that made it difficult to let go of.

Look at the thoughts that may develop when there is mistreatment. A person can think poorly of himself or herself when someone says degrading things. An immense dislike or hatred towards a person or group can seem a reasonable response to an injustice. The least provocation can set off an inner dialogue of fear, anger, frustration, anxiety or sadness. The past can seem ever present because what flows from within may never be the same again.

While the difficulties are fresh in their memories so are the things that human beings value and cherish. All of the people at this event related the joyous times spent with their parents, siblings, spouses, children and close friends. Some talked about going places with their parents, a romantic getaway with their spouse, playing with and taking their children places, swimming at the beach, playing games, playing musical instruments, going on vacation and so many other everyday things that filled their life with joy.

The one thing above all else that these people most cherish and have positively impacted their lives is the love they have received and the love that they have for those special few people in their life. The love they get from their mother and father throughout their lives is still felt to this day. The love that they have for their spouse or an adored boyfriend or girlfriend means so much to them. The love they have for their children words cannot describe. The connections with a best friend is also an important part of each person’s life. The feelings and appreciation for those special few people are felt deep down and have continually enhanced people’s lives no matter what kind of difficulties they are facing.

While every person’s life may change dramatically because of the people they know, so too can reading and hearing an idea or a concept become part of a person’s beliefs. When being exposed to someone’s point of view, each of us will find certain concepts more appealing than others. Books and newspaper articles that we read, television programs and talk shows that we watch, radio programs that we listen to and internet sites that we go to all have the potential power to have an influence on our thinking. Combined with our sense of right and wrong, every person’s personal philosophy about life, economic concepts and societal and political ideologies are the result of hearing or reading about various ideas and coming to believe in their validity. Over time adherence to a set of principles develops and an abhorrence often occurs for other contrary ideologies.

After hearing the personal life stories of these people I now realize that past experiences have a profound effect on everyone’s life. This manifests itself in our ability to have a better life with fewer difficulties or a life that is more problematic.

DAY 37 – KEY ASPECT: THOUGHTS VERSUS FEELINGS

I am at work and three coworkers are talking about a new project our company is undertaking. One person said he feels that they haven’t been given enough time to adequately complete their part of the project. Another person said she feels that their supervisor doesn’t understand how difficult it is to coordinate everything between the different departments in the company. The third co-worker said he feels that this project is a burden on everyone in the company and would not be beneficial for the future success of their company.

While each person used the word feels, what they are describing is not feelings but their thoughts about this project. The first person is describing his thoughts about not being given enough time. The second person is describing her thoughts about how the supervisor doesn’t understand the difficulties to coordinate things between the different departments. The third person is describing his thoughts about the burden this project would create and how it would hurt the future success of the company.

People constantly say “I feel” when they discuss various things in life. We say it in relation to something that has or will occur such as I feel this should or shouldn’t happen. We say it when we talk about the attributes of people such as I feel he didn’t take my concerns seriously. We say it when a person describes what he or she will do such as I feel I have to take care of this situation. We say it when we describe the character and qualities of people who belong to a certain group such as I feel that the beliefs and actions of people of a certain nationality, religion, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation are not the same as the group I belong to.

Feelings course through the human body while thoughts flow in our minds. We use the terms sad, anxious, fearful, scared, happy and love to describe something that happens within each of our bodies. We describe something that happens within our mind using the words think, thought, analyze, contemplate, reasoning, imagination, opinion, disdain, think little of, thoughtful and speculate.

Every feeling is both personal and powerful within someone’s body. No one else can actually feel the anguish or joy that another person feels. The only way to have any semblance of what any other human being is going through is for them to verbally tell you.

While it is generally accepted to use the words “I feel” for “I think” there is an important distinction for each term. When someone has an actual feeling no one can say that a feeling is not real since it is actually occurring within that person’s body. A person’s thoughts, though, can be questioned for its accuracy and factuality.

When a person says I feel he shouldn’t have done that or I feel that people of a certain group have a negative attribute it becomes harder to discuss how their thinking on the subject may be incorrect. Using the words I think instead of I feel allows people not only to discuss their statements based on their merits but also allows a person to introspect their own thoughts more carefully.

In addition, thoughts can have a profound affect upon a person’s feelings. The more negative silent words said to oneself the more upsetting feelings a person has. I am no good, I am incompetant, no one cares about me and many other self-degrading thoughts can create a corresponding negative feeling within one’s own body. Saying to oneself someone or some group is no good, inconsiderate, incompetant, selfish, unworthy and many other non-flattering and demeaning things often instills negative feelings within when thinking about certain people.

While negative thoughts create negative feelings, positive thoughts create positive feelings. Thinking that you are competent, people care about you and you will be able to succeed will instill an inner peace and joy that you take with you everywhere you go. Thinking that your fellow human beings are worthwhile and you harbor no ill will towards anyone will allow you to feel good when thinking about or meeting other people.

Sitting at my desk after overhearing my coworkers I now realize that it is important to understand the difference between feelings and thoughts and the impact each word has. Being consciously aware that there is a distinction between using the word feel when I mean think can help me to become more analytical and better able to analyze my thoughts for their accuracy.

DAY 38 – KEY ASPECT: ONE’S FAMILY

I am at my friend’s house eating dinner with his family. Throughout the meal and during the rest of the night they are constantly talking to one another. They share what each of them did that day and what they will be doing tomorrow. They calmly discuss world affairs even when there are different points of view. They interject jokes and laughter into their discussions. All of this is in sharp contrast with my family who has a history of rarely having any meaningful dialogue along with bouts of anger, yelling and belittling one another.

A person’s family home is where we spend our time with the people we love. It is a place where each of us comes back to night after night. There can be many places where someone lives but a real family home needs to be a personal sanctuary where each member finds comfort, feels at ease and everyone knows that they can be themselves without harsh criticism.

When there is discord at home it affects every person in the household. Having to experience a loved one getting upset creates a strained environment that permeates to all who live there. Everything becomes exacerbated and felt more deeply because it comes from someone you love and have to live with.

In the outside world we interact with so many different people with many of them being complete strangers. Some of those encounters turn into a discomforting situation or a more pronounced heated argument. In each case what ends up happening is both parties to the unpleasantness eventually leave the scene and no one has to look back if they choose not to.

With family members this is a completely different story. Living in the same home requires a peaceful family setting for everyone involved. It is just as important for parents as it is for each child. Every family member is a separate and unique individual with their own thoughts and feelings. Having to endure tension in a place that is supposed to be a safe haven can be very upsetting as well as difficult to handle.

Think about all of the ramifications that develop for a family member who has to deal with harsh words and detrimental actions that someone continually creates in their mutual home. When it becomes pronounced and it seems to be never ending turning to drugs or alcohol can seem a reasonable response. Because of too much turmoil and unhappiness a spouse may eventually decide to end the marriage. Children often cannot wait to leave and go on their own, even if they are not psychologically ready to do so.

A family home at its best is there to enhance everyone’s life. It is a nurturing environment where it instills a sense of inward peace and joy. It allows each individual person to believe that his or her personal desires in life will come to fruition and are aided by those they love. While the home is where the heart is, it also is a place where every single person should thrive.

On my way home later that evening, I now realize that family dynamics is of such extreme importance that it has a bearing on whether each member has an optimistic outlook on life or becomes disheartened. The family home needs to be a place where every person can believe they are safe, secure and know that he or she is loved, respected and valued.

DAY 39 – KEY ASPECT: THE HUMAN FAMILY

I am leaving a conference where there was one representative from every nationality, religion, race and ethnicity on the face of the earth talking about what life was like for them. On the street, my imagination started to take over. I saw myself standing in the middle of an intersection filled with hundreds of people of diverse backgrounds and beliefs. Surrounding us are hundreds of people at each of the four corners of the intersection. One corner has people who all belong to the same nationality. At another corner there are people who all have the same religious beliefs. At the third corner are people of the same race. At the fourth corner are people of the same ethnicity.

I walked down the middle of the street until I came to the next intersection. The same thing happened. Each corner represented a specific nationality, religion, race and ethnicity while the middle of the intersection represented people of different backgrounds and ideologies. I kept on walking through twenty intersections and they all have a similar theme, diversity in the middle of the street and separate groups at each corner.

The people at each corner separated themselves off from anyone who is different. No one could step onto that parcel of sidewalk who does not have the same background and beliefs. Everyone else who is not the same as they are is considered an outsider and could not join them in their part of the sidewalk.

This is in sharp contrast to the diversity of the people in the middle of each intersection. They welcomed anyone and everyone into their group while encouraging one another to share stories about themselves and their various beliefs about life. No one held anti-thoughts or had ill will towards anyone who is not the same. The one thing that united all of us is that we considered every human being a part of the human family.

When we separate ourselves because of where we are from or a strongly held ideology it becomes the underpinnings to believe that those who are different is not welcome into our collective home. I will stay in my corner of the world and you stay somewhere else. I will think about myself and you take care of yourself.

Stripping away those thoughts that categorize human beings into us and them allows people to become part of the extensive human family. Just like being part of one’s individual family, a collective societal mindset allows us to live our lives for the mutual benefit of all of humanity. How we conduct our lives and affairs changes because we understand that life is about everyone thriving for no other reason than they are a fellow human being.

When others are part of the human family we go out of our way to freely share insights that propels other people to greater heights. When we discover the best methods to prevent problems we share it freely. When we have a better way of conducting human affairs we work together so it can benefit one and all.

When this imaginary walk ended I now realize that when we change our thinking about our fellow human beings from a specific group perspective to a human family perspective it makes everyone equally important and valuable. We thus make it more likely that human beings around the planet will become united in a collective effort to create a better world for all of humanity.

DAY 40 – KEY ASPECT: SELF-FOCUSED VERSUS ALTRUISM

I am sitting at a bar and overhear two people talking. One person says he lives around the corner and continually talks about himself, his family, all that he has accomplished and his country. The other person says he has traveled around the world and centers his attention upon the person he is talking to, the people he has met and the issues that impact all of humanity.

After a short time it becomes evident that the first person’s focus upon himself comes from an egocentric perspective. He talks about himself as if his desires are all that matters in this world. He believes that his family is more important than other families and his successes are of greater importance and consequence than what any other human being is doing or going through. He also conveys an attitude that what impacts his country is of such paramount importance that it completely overshadows anything of importance to people who live elsewhere.

People who have a self-focused approach to life have a mindset that “me and all that I need and care about” takes precedence over “other people and what they need and care about”. Such individuals may compromise out of necessity but their true perspective does so only if they can gain something they would not ordinarily have. There is no real we of the human family just the me of what is in my best interests.

It is normal to have self-interest concerns about what affects each of us in life. We want to spend time with the people we love who have a special place in our hearts and minds. Having to pay for the essentials of food, shelter and clothing commits people to going to work instead of hanging around with friends. There is a time commitment that human beings make in one’s own interests.

Self-interest, though, goes to a different level when it disregards what may or may not benefit one’s fellow human beings. Trying to outdo someone and win when others lose has for many become their personal mantra when it comes to themselves, their loved ones and those who share their nationality, religion, race and ethnicity.

While there are some who live their lives with more of a me first attitude, there are far more people who live life by believing that everyone matters and genuinely want the best for people everywhere. They know that when someone succeeds at life, whether friend or stranger, we all succeed. They do not consider themselves to be superior and others inferior, just co-equals. They have figured out how to balance one’s own interest with an altruism that takes into consideration the larger picture of society.

Look at the unselfish in this world who go out of their way for someone else. They are the individuals who start non-profits and tirelessly work to remedy a problem that faces someone or a particular group. They are the volunteers who give their time to a cause greater than themselves. They are the people who stop what they are doing and come rushing to help when there is an emergency, whether it is local or somewhere across the sea. The world is a much better place because of the millions upon millions of people who devote their time and energy to remedying something that is problematic.

Like everything else in life, what each of us does is related to one’s thoughts. Those who are self-focused have those silent words that say I have to spend my time devoted to what I enjoy having and doing. Altruistic people have an inner dialogue that the we of the human family matters as much as myself and I will spend some of my time helping my fellow human beings and the earth to thrive.

When I left the bar I now realize that human beings may often focus upon one ‘s own interests but we also have the capability to consider the interests of others as well. There is a significant difference between living our lives based on the I of my life versus the we of the human family. The more we incorporate the welfare of others and our planet into our thoughts and actions the better the world becomes for everyone.

DAY 41 – KEY ASPECT: INTOLERANCE VERSUS TOLERANCE

I am standing in the corner of a boxing ring ready to do battle with an opponent who is in the opposite corner. There is a large contingent of my fans behind me cheering me on and a large number of fans on the opposite side cheering on the person I will soon go to battle against. The thing that is different about being inside this ring is that there is not going to be a physical fight but a verbal confrontation over differing beliefs each of us have that has escalated into a deep seated annoyance and anger for the other side.

I do not know how all of this began but people in my corner vehemently dislike those on the opposite side of the ring and this sentiment is reciprocated in kind by my opponents faithful. While we try to discuss issues in a manner that will bring about mutual agreement there seems to be no middle ground for compromise, just deep contempt for anyone they consider on the other side of the issues.

People who do not like their fellow human beings for no other reason than they have different thoughts from themselves are intolerant human beings. They believe that there is something wrong with anyone who has a different belief and do not give any credence to ideas that are not the same as they have. This disdain for certain ideas and beliefs can be carried over to the ultimate extreme where other religious, economic, political and moral philosophies make an entire group the “others” and people who believe in them should not be trusted.

Intolerant people make life more difficult than it needs to be. They often do not treat those who are different with kindness, dignity and respect. They demean them with the most vicious verbal attacks. Their outright contempt may even try to prevent those not like themselves from having a decent and better life.

Intolerance eventually can take on a life of its own. It can act like a virus spreading from one person to someone else to another person until it reaches the overall masses. At that point it affects people to where it is not just a personal preference but a societal epidemic. This is what the fans around the ring are doing, being infected with a virus of annoyance and anger towards people who they believe are their opponent.

Luckily for humanity there are far more tolerant than intolerant human beings. They accept people as they are. They know that people will disagree on ideological grounds but value what differences can make in the pursuit of finding a better course to take.

Tolerant human beings do not disparage anyone who is not the same. The kind and encouraging words they say to their loved ones they say to those completely unlike themselves. They welcome others with open arms willing to give everyone a chance to show their good and decent side.

Tolerant people know that human life is a matter of circumstance. Where our parents live determines one’s nationality. Our parents religion often becomes each child’s religion. Our parents’ genetic makeup determines one’s genetic makeup including one’s race. We also inherit an ethnic lineage that goes back centuries if not a millennium. A person’s sexual orientation is as natural to that person as taking a breath of air. Each of us comes into this world with a number of pre-set factors because of what we inherit from the people each of us is born to.

What eventually causes the difference between an intolerant and tolerant human being is the type of thoughts a person has. Anti-thoughts are at the center of intolerance. They put others down in those silent words people say to themselves creating a dislike for those who are not the same and often believing and wishing the world could be rid of people like “them”.

The virus of anti-thoughts and intolerance can spread to others with devastating results. Other people who may not originally have those disparaging thoughts hear them and somehow they start to believe in their factuality and validity. Over time thousands, if not millions, of our fellow human beings get caught up in the infection of intolerance just like any physiological disease.

Viruses that make us physically ill do not infect everyone. Their immune system somehow prevents it from taking hold. The same can be said about those who do not become infected with the virus of intolerance. They have a mindset that allows them to be objective and understand that not tolerating differences makes no logical sense. It is as if they have a psychological immunity or have taken a vaccine to prevent disliking and opposing those who are different.

Seeing all of these people with disdain for their fellow human beings I now realize that intolerance for differences in both what we believe and how we look is the barrier that keeps us separate and apart. The more acceptance we have for those who are not like oneself, the more we will remove the barriers that keep us apart and find that on the other side of that wall is a more cooperative and beneficial world for everyone.

DAY 42 – KEY ASPECT: EXCLUSION VERSUS INCLUSION

My brother and I had moved to a new town with our parents when we were seven and eight years old respectively. The first day at school we wanted to play with the kids after school. Those in the playground kept to themselves and would not let us join in. Being shunned did not just happen that first day but it persisted throughout our school lives.

Where we had moved to was so different than what we were used to. Our old community was a town where everyone seemed to know each other and people were friendly and would spend time talking and doing things with one another. The place where our parents took us to was a very large city where its citizens kept to themselves and the only time you saw each other was when they were rushing in and out of stores or to and from their home without a word being said.

After a couple of years we began to understand how our fellow students in our new town looked at and treated certain people. Other students who were not like them were thought of as different and odd. A division developed where numerous groups were formed and each group of friends kept to themselves. A wall was built up that said you are not part of us and we do not like you and do not want to have anything to do with you, even if the person so categorized is the nicest person in the world.

Luckily there were other kids like ourselves who did not think and act like that. We accepted people based upon nothing more than being a friendly person . This is where we treated each other decently and with respect. This is where we learned to become tolerant about someone who is different and to include them in our lives. This is where my brother and I found our friends from.

When we look a little bit more closely we can see how children can come to exclude other kids from joining in. Kids hear parents and other people talk in a demeaning manner about a relative, friend, neighbor, co-worker or stranger pointing out an attribute they do not agree with or like. Some children who come to think that this is appropriate behavior then incorporate within themselves such thoughts and attitudes towards other people. They find something they do not like about a kid in school or someone living nearby and they then say demeaning things to them and do not include them in what they are doing. Without realizing it, a pattern of anti-thoughts that puts people down and excludes them seems very natural and normal. If left unchecked it can be a habit that lasts a lifetime.

Any exclusionary thinking can spread from one individual to others. After a while a large segment of a community can dislike and want to exclude certain people or certain segments of society. There is no benevolence and no kindness in such actions. When it occurs on a massive scale it can alter the path forward for generations to come. No one benefits from it as a divide has developed that appears unbreakable.

Those who do not accept others as their fellow human beings with the same desire for a better life do not fully comprehend the effects of their actions. They do not see the discomfort and uneasiness it has upon the person who is excluded. They do not understand what a person thinks, feels and the psychological and emotional strain it has upon someone who is not accepted by others. And most of all, they do not have an inkling that excluding individual persons or entire members of a particular group has a long term consequence that tears away at the fabric of a benevolent and peaceful world.

As I grew older I now realize that people who are excluded by others, no matter what the reason, is a form of non-acceptance. They do not welcome them into their lives with open arms. Inclusion of all of our fellow human beings into the human family is the path that humanity has to take if we are to become a more unified world.

DAY 43 – KEY ASPECT: EQUALITY AND FAIRNESS

For the past three years I have been helping my daughter to learn math. I introduced numbers to her at the age of two and recently showed her how to add and subtract using the plus, minus and equal signs. While developing a strategy for how to convey the concepts of addition and subtraction it dawned on me that the plus, minus and equal signs have a significance much greater than just adding and subtracting numbers. They can represent how human beings treat one another.

People everywhere want a better life. Nothing is handed to us so we work for what we have. Our thoughts and actions that enable us to achieve or not achieve the desired better life can be viewed with the mathematical symbols of whether they add to or subtract from our ability to have that better life and whether our actions create equality and fairness with our fellow human beings.

Minus signs in terms of having a better life and living in a better world can be seen everywhere. Those who do not have enough food to eat, clean water to drink or live in squalor are not as fortunate as many of their fellow human beings. People who are excluded, repressed or targets of verbal and physical mistreatment, whether at the hands of a loved one or because of the group they belong to, have a more difficult life. Wherever there is an environmental problem the earth has a minus sign attached to that situation.

Anti-thoughts, selfish thoughts, inconsiderate thoughts and exclusionary thoughts are all minus signs because such thinking leads to non-beneficial actions directed at certain individuals and groups. Those who think like that put their interests ahead of the interests of people they think poorly of. There are no equal signs attached to the targets of discrimination, exclusion and intolerance by people who have disdain for a fellow human being just a desire to belittle others and prevent them from living as good of a life as they possibly can have.

The psychological effect of having detrimental actions aimed at oneself by someone can be devastating. How many people lose hope for a better tomorrow when they aren’t treated well? How many people become bitter with a deep animosity towards their fellow human beings when they are not afforded an opportunity like others? Without an equality of hope, opportunity and fairness we do not have as much harmony in this world and without harmony our world is not as good as it could otherwise be.

While human difficulties are in plain sight and cannot be hidden, it sometimes seems hard to see the many plus signs that are right in front of us all the time. Looking closely at people with their immediate family we can see the love that they have for one another. When a problematic situation develops for anyone in a family the other members gather to help resolve it. There is a sense of unity that encourages and inspires each person to reach for greater heights because of their supportive loving family.

We also have so many plus signs in the world at large. People are living longer with fewer health problems. We are feeding more human beings than ever before. There are people standing up for equality and fairness. More people are getting an education that enables them to become a productive member of society. There are people volunteering to help those who need help and when a disaster strikes people rush in to help those affected by it. Our world is made up of billions of people who care.

After thinking about the plus, minus and equal signs in math I now realize that when problems exist there is a minus sign attached to that situation since it prevents someone or some group of human beings from meeting the basic requirements for a better life. All of us need to work towards changing minus signs into plus signs in their personal and societal equation. A journey into an equally better future with more fairness requires plus and equal signs everywhere.

DAY 44 – KEY ASPECT: THE HUMAN PSYCHOLOGICAL BOX

I am in a toy store looking for a birthday present for my neighbors seven year old son. A boy is playing with a jack-in-the-box and hits a button on the side of the box that enables a puppet to pop out. He does this over and over again until his parents take him and they leave the store.

I start to think about people and the jack-in-the-box we put ourselves in. Since we live our lives in thoughts, with many of those silent thoughts being repeated over and over again, they eventually take on a life of its own. Developing steadfast beliefs that we don’t waiver from, we thus become confined to certain thoughts where we then have created our own individual psychological box.

Living in a psychological box there is less diversity and range of thoughts which ultimately limits ourselves into what may be possible. We can’t create new ideological paradigms and new ways of living life because we have become set in our ways. The past and present is thoroughly ingrained and the potential for doing something different is easily dismissed.

Imagine a human being living in a room and never leaving that room. The walls of the room surround him and he cannot escape being a physical prisoner of those four walls. The same can be said of one’s mind when we do not let new ideas enter the picture. Such limitations confines a person to a psychological room of set thoughts and set behaviors. This is the psychological box human beings have that defines each of us when we do not allow ourselves to consider and possibly adopt new ways of thinking about issues.

The human psychological box is at the heart of why people stay as they are for decades even though they know that what they are doing does not solve their problems. The rigidity of people to not move in another direction is a result of habitual thinking and habitual behaviors that keeps us stuck where we are. The world stays the same even though people want something different.

If we are to move towards something better we have to consider the merits of all new ideas. We have to compare them to what we now have and then determine if life will be better off with something new that we are not accustomed to. We do not automatically hold onto the existing ways of thinking and acting but allow ourselves the freedom to explore all possibilities. When we do not limit ourselves we have popped out of our psychological box and with this new freedom we will not be put back into the old box again. This is how individual and societal progress is made.

After buying a present and leaving the store I now realize that one of the most difficult things any of us can do is break free from one’s own psychological box that each person puts themselves into. Allowing ourselves to venture away from what we have become accustomed to opens up a world of creative possibilities that can successfully address personal as well as our collective societal issues.

DAY 45 – KEY ASPECT: AN OPEN MIND (OBJECTIVITY)

I am watching a sci-fi movie. The main character is looking in the mirror and sees his head locked in a gigantic clamp that lets nothing new and different entire his mind. When he reads something he never lets it dissuade him from his existing beliefs. When he hears something that is contrary to his views he instantly rejects it. Whatever he already believes he continues to believe in its validity for the rest of his life.

People think about and discuss life all the time. One person will have a thought about how to remedy an existing problem or to prevent problematic situations from developing. The next person will have another way of dissecting a situation. When you go down the chain of people each of us comes into contact with there are numerous avenues of diagnosis, beliefs and remedies that fill the human mind.

For some, they do not let new ideas and information enter into the equation. They ignore the possibility that their thoughts may have no factuality or validity to them. They do not comprehend that there may be a better way of living life and conducting human affairs. Rigidity of thought keeps so many people bound to what they believe and only their ways of thinking about life is worthy of merit.

All of this allows no room for individual growth and understanding. How often do you find a young child adamant to do something even if his or her parents show how dangerous or problematic that could be? Adults can be just as closed minded when they do not want to hear and fully consider something that is contrary to what they already have an opinion about.

Imagine what went through the minds of people a few hundred years ago when they first heard that the earth was round and not flat. There had to be masses of people who rejected that idea which was completely different than what they were told while growing up. The inability to be open to anything outside of one’s unwavering thoughts is a problem that humanity has to overcome if we are to remedy human difficulties.

There often is a tug of war between those who want to consider new ideas and those who reject them. In each situation we have to determine whether the norm or the new idea is better. Neither side can reject the other side out of hand if we are to find the best course of action. Societal advancements can be hindered and slowed because of those who do not put a good faith effort into hearing and trying to understand both what we have inherited and what is new.

Human progress requires humanity to relish in what our ancestors have bequeathed to us while simultaneously letting go of what we inherited that may be deficient in some form or another. An openness to ideas that may seem foreign and unusual at first is where humanity needs to go if we are to take giant strides forward instead of the gradual small steps that often accompany human advancement. It may have taken decades or longer for our ancestors to change their ways but eventually they were able to change the status quo when it was wanting and we who are alive today should do the same.

When I stopped watching the sci-fi movie I now realize that when I am presented with a new idea or way of living life I need to approach it with an openness that allows me to become objective to its potential for being more beneficial for myself, my fellow human beings and planet earth than my present beliefs and actions. Anything less keeps me stuck where I am and not moving forward as best as I can.

DAY 46 – KEY ASPECT: SEEING LIFE REALISTICALLY

I am at my eye doctor getting my eyes examined. Every year or so the vision within my eyes changes and I have to get a new set of lenses to bring back my vision to where I can see better. The distortions of the outside world are corrected by the new lenses.

Similar to one’s vision certain thoughts and beliefs are a distortion of what is actually occurring and what is beneficial. The inaccurate portrayal of life in one’s mind is a cloud blocking out what is out there in the real world. Our ability to have a holistically better life and a collectively better world for all of humanity requires seeing life realistically as we do when we have corrective lenses for our eyes.

There is an enormous difference between having and not having realistic assessments about anything and everything. Every assessment determines how we behave. Is verbally, physically or sexually assaulting another human being a realistic assessment about how someone wants to be treated? Is betraying a trust a realistic assessment of how to act towards those who trust you? Is thinking of your concerns without showing similar concerns for your fellow human being a realistic assessment of how other people want to be considered? Is excluding people from having the opportunity for a better life a realistic assessment to creating a better world? Is spewing pollutants into the atmosphere or into the waterways thereby altering the earth’s ability to be clean and sustainable a realistic assessment that enables the earth to function optimally? Is not giving your children the nurturing love they require throughout their lives a realistic assessment of what children need from their parents? Is believing problems are inevitable and we cannot do anything to rid the planet of them a realistic assessment of the potential to change the world for the better? Is not contributing some of your time to creating a better world a realistic assessment that the world will become a better place without your contribution?

Without realism how can anyone expect the world of the future to be significantly better than it is today. Finding the best methods to live our lives and conduct our affairs requires beliefs that will actually accomplish what we want. I now realize that realistic thinking and realistic approaches will give us the ability to make this the last century for most human problems.

DAY 47 – KEY ASPECT: LIFE NOT TURNING OUT AS YOU WANT IT TO

I am a lawyer giving a lecture to a group of pre-law students about the people I have represented. I tell them about problems people have in their marriages that led them to end their relationship and sue for custody of their children. I give them examples of how people seek financial restitution when a contractor does not fulfill their contractual obligations or what happens when they have been in a car accident. The one thing that is behind every lawsuit is that someone becomes upset because he or she believes they have been wronged by the person they are taking to court.

I have a friend who is a historian and is an expert in political history. He tells me that people across many timelines and in countries around the planet also get upset when something is amiss in their society. They are similar to my clients who just want life to run smoothly.

Becoming disappointed and getting upset is not only related to legal issues and political affairs, it is also related to everyday life. When someone says or does something not to one’s liking there can be disdain for such words and behaviors which turns into justification for an emotional reaction. Believing that people have to always say things we want them to say and do the things that we expect them to do is unrealistic. Life has an inevitability to it where at various points in time others will disappoint each of us by their words or deeds. Everyone in some way knows this yet human beings still have the propensity to get upset anyway.

Our ability to get upset over what has already transpired and over what we envision for the future is related to our thoughts about past and future events. It is those silent words that we repeat to ourselves that creates the mindset that someone should not have said or done something that ultimately gets the best of us. Those silent words can also represent thoughts about something that is not presently a problem but may become one later on. When we keep actual or potential difficulties alive in our minds we also allow frustration, anger and anxiety to build up.

Except when we try to learn how to improve our lives and the world around us there is nothing to be gained from thinking about how life has not or will not turn out as you want it to. Frustration and anger will never change a past wrong, even if it occurred just seconds ago, since we cannot go back and redo what has already taken place. As for the future, anxiety and fear over what may develop is usually a waste of time since most of the negativity that we envision often times will never take place.

Young children do not have the ability to analyze life from the perspective of the inevitability of life not always turning out as they want it to. What they want they want it now. There is no acceptance of hearing something they do not want to hear and little tolerance to wait for a delayed gratification with something they want to have or do at that very moment.

Yet adults often react in a similar manner. Someone says something they dislike, changes their mind about doing what they said they would do or does not act in ways they think they should and the manner in which they react to it is to become upset. Even with an arsenal of a greater vocabulary and more insights about life than a child’s, an adult may still strike back with harsh words that are intended to emotionally hurt the other person. What may have started as a minor incident can escalate into a situation that goes far beyond what originally occurred.

Too many arguments and disputes develop when we focus our thoughts about what did not turn out as we wanted it to. Words of anger can lead to a violent physical altercation. Lifelong relationships can be ruined by allowing a hurt to develop or linger for a long time. Nations, as well as people of different groups, can become sworn enemies solely because they not only relive in their minds present day disappointments and disagreements but also the hatreds of their ancestors.

After finishing my lecture I now realize that when I become disappointed, frustrated, angry, anxious or fearful it is because of my thoughts that something in life has not turned out as I wanted it to in the past or may not turn out as I wish it to in the future. Becoming emotionally upset does not change what has already happened and does nothing to alter the future. The inability of human beings to live in peace and harmony with one another has its roots in becoming upset when something in life does not turn out as you want it to.

DAY 48 – KEY ASPECT: FINDING APPRECIATION

Twenty five years ago today I graduated high school and when I look back at myself and my close friends at that time I can see how we used to complain about so many different things. We became annoyed at our parents when they wouldn’t allow us to do something we wanted to do or required us to do chores around the house. We found teachers unfair who did not give us a grade we thought we should have received and we mocked kids if they did not seem as cool as we thought we were.

Becoming annoyed is not limited to being young. As we get older human beings find fault with so many different things about people and life in general. The only difference from those high school years is that adults have a wider range of things they can find displeasure with.

One way we show our displeasure in what someone said or did is when we gossip about that person. Talking negatively about a person to someone else is a form of complaining that says without actually saying it that so and so should not have behaved in a certain manner. We gossip to one’s spouse about other people. We gossip at work about other coworkers. We gossip to our friends about one’s spouse, children, parents or siblings. We gossip about politicians. We gossip about famous actors, singers and authors. It is as if there is an endless line of people that each of us can find fault with.

It is easy to become annoyed with other people. All that it takes is for someone to believe that others have to live by those silent words each of us say to ourselves. When someone doesn’t have a similar belief or doesn’t behave in a manner that each of us thinks they should, the usual result is disparaging thoughts about that person. Those disparaging thoughts become the annoyance that lives within each and every human being.

When annoyance takes hold it can stay within us for a long time. How many children never let go of what they experienced at the hands of classmates, siblings and even parents? How many adults find it hard to overcome a mistreatment by the person they have dated or married? Having a situation that we wish had never occurred live on in our minds well past the time it happened is like being given a life sentence for something that should have been a momentary blip on everyone’s life journey.

In our haste to find fault with a particular deed we overlook the good qualities someone has. That same person can be a good parent, spouse or friend. That same person can give you and others kind words when it is needed. That same person can go out of his or her way to lend a helping hand. And most importantly, that same person can exude kindness, friendship and love.

Human beings have so many good qualities that we could appreciate them if we stopped focusing our attention upon what we do not like. Instead of becoming annoyed at a particular action look at the instances where you see the best in yourself and others. Each of us is off one percent but turning your attention to those times when you or someone else is not at their best ignores and sets aside when people are at their best. Appreciating the times when you and others are nice, kind, considerate and respectful makes all the difference in how each of us thinks and feels.

Removing annoyance is an absolute must for inner harmony. Forgiving the perpetrator of their misdeeds frees each of us of the psychological burden that we inflict upon ourselves when we keep the past alive in our minds. The new found freedom of not having to replay past annoyances is that we can enjoy the here and now, especially with the people we love.

I have changed since my high school days because I now realize that when I get annoyed at someone for not acting in a certain manner it is because at that moment I have put aside their better qualities. When I have become disheartened at something I have done it also is because I put aside my better qualities that I try to live my life by. Appreciating the best in myself and others is important for letting go of annoyance and is essential for personal enjoyment and happiness.

DAY 49 – KEY ASPECT: LOVING FEELINGS VERSUS LOVING ACTIONS

I hang out alot with a friend of mine and her boyfriend of six months. They tell me their relationship is like a see-saw where when things are going well between them it is great but there are too many instances when their relationship is chaotic. Both of them are perplexed as to why this happens and what can be done to end their difficulties.

A problem that they both have is that they easily get annoyed at something the other person has said or done even if the words or actions are of a minor nature. One person will make a snide or belittling comment about the other person and the rebuttal is a snide or belittling remark back. Soon the verbal vitriol becomes more intense and the annoyance continues to grow to the point where they question why they are in a relationship with that person.

Both my friend and her boyfriend say the other person is at fault when they argue. When she drops a glass and it breaks he tells her she is clumsy. When he does not do something he said he was going to do she tells him he is lazy. When she goes over to see her parents he says she shouldn’t waste her time there since she should be home with him. When he goes out with his friends she questions why he isn’t home with her. While both people work they say the other person wastes money on themself and doesn’t contribute enough to the household expenses. I have often asked them why they stay together with all of this turmoil and the only answer they give is that they love the other person.

While this doesn’t occur with them they tell me about a married couple they hang out with who have other issues that hinder their ability for a harmonious relationship. Both of those people have cheated on their spouse which has led to mistrust. When they both drink too much they say the meanest things to one another. Their arguments have led to the woman throwing things at her husband and her husband pushing his wife to the floor. Even though this married couple has mistrust and physical violence compared to my friend and her boyfriend, this couple also says that they stay together because they love one another.

Relationships at times may seem complicated but it becomes easier to understand when we look at it from the point of feelings and actions which are two separate and distinct aspects of interactions and relationships. Feelings are what courses through one’s body and actions are how we treat someone. In every situation in life, whether it is with the person each of us love or the people we just momentarily pass by, they both play a role in what takes place between human beings.

Words are part of how we treat someone and are a very powerful arsenal human beings have. They can complement or demean the other person for trivial or important things. They can prop up someone to where they feel good even on the cloudiest of days or have the chilling effect of bringing someone down when the sunshine is lighting up the sky. Our words are constantly at play in how we make the other person feel no matter what the situation.

Expectations, especially when they are unrealistic, also play a role in how we treat people. When someone at work does less than their job requires knowing that a co-worker has to make up the slack, that isn’t treating their co-worker properly. When a boss demands perfection, which is impossible to do all the time, it creates an atmosphere where the workers become uptight and tense around their boss which is an aspect of not treating the staff well.

Bullying is also a form of not treating people well. It is not only verbal assaults that demean another person but also pushing someone aside if that person is in your way. Business people can do that when the interest of their company comes before the civic good. Drivers can do that when they want to get somewhere so fast that other cars are looked at as just obstacles in their way with no concern for the other person behind the wheel.

The worst form of bullying and inconsideration is when parents demean their children and ignore their heartfelt desires. Children just want to be loved. They want to spend time with their parents while doing children things. Playing, laughing and learning is what they are all about. Verbally putting them down instead of saying things that uplifts them and inspires them to become a better human being may give a child a life sentence of emotional uneasiness. Not being there to be actively engaged with your child is disheartening for children and can erode a bond that at its best is as simple as just taking a breath of fresh air.

Thinking about the type of interactions and relationships people have I now realize that there is a significant difference between feelings and actions. The people I care about, love and want to spend more time with than other people deserve to be shown kindness, consideration and respect. In fact, every human being I encounter also deserves to be treated as well as I treat those whom I love.

DAY 50 – KEY ASPECT: EVERYONE MATTERS

I am shoveling snow after a major storm. My neighbor across the street comes over to help me even though he didn’t finish shoveling his property. He has done this every time it has snowed since he moved into his home five years ago.

This man, his wife and fifteen year old twins do a lot of volunteer work in the community. A few years ago a couple on the other side of town lost their home in a fire and this family organized a fundraiser for them. After a hurricane ravaged an island they collected food, clothing and toys and personally took it to the island to distribute it where it was needed.

It is easy to go out of one’s way for the people we love and care about. It says something else when that caring occurs with acquaintances and complete strangers. What it says is that everyone matters and that our loving actions are not limited to one’s own family or the group each of us belongs to.

When everyone matters we simply think of each and every human being as part of the human family. We do not distinguish anyone as separate and distinct from one another but just people who deserve a better life with fewer problems. While we give a majority of our time to our loved ones and friends, a mentality that everyone matters will enable us to find time to carve out moments in our routine to lend a helping hand to those in need.

Humanity lives on a round planet. The borders that separate us is not the demarcation line that separates nations but the thoughts that run through our minds that certain people are the “others”. With such a mentality each group is the “other” group to someone and each person is the “other” person to a whole lot of people. Every human being would matter and everyone would be better off if we got rid of the label “other”.

While talking to my neighbor, I now realize that all of us become part of the human family when we consider everyone just as important as we do the people we love and care about. Valuing every human being for just being human creates the underpinnings for a better world.

DAY 51 – KEY ASPECT: A BETTER LIFE PHILOSOPHY

I am leaving an auditorium after listening to a debate between two of the best college debate teams in the nation. The moderator tells them the topic is what is philosophy and how does philosophy impact our lives. What followed was an interesting discussion that made me think about my personal philosophical ideologies.

One of the key themes throughout the debate was that philosophy is both personal and societal in nature. They are the thoughts and beliefs each of us have about how to conduct one’s own life and how to conduct the affairs of society. The objective of any philosophical concept is to enhance the life of the individual, enhance the lives of all of the members of a particular group and possibly for humanity as a whole.

Like so many other things, human beings adopt a particular or set of ideological concepts. We get exposed to various ideologies and our thoughts have us make sense of and believe in the merit of certain ones more than other competing concepts. Eventually, we adopt what we believe is beneficial into our belief systems and try, if not always successfully, to live our lives by them.

Believing in the benefits of a particular philosophical ideology is very important to those who hold them in very high regard. Since we live our lives in the silent words each of us say to ourselves, we are constantly reinforcing in our minds the importance of certain ideological concepts that we consider in our best interests. For many human beings they also believe that when other people live their life by the exact same philosophical principles the world becomes a better place for all of humanity.

Too often people think that one’s personal beliefs are the absolute answers to a particular issue or to humanity’s collective problems while other beliefs may hinder our ability to live in a better world. What unfolds with such a mindset is that people on each side of the issues are in constant disagreement and cannot develop a unifying ideology that remedies our problems. Living life from a closed or rigid mind does not lend itself to look for beneficial ideas in other ideologies that will contribute to preventing and resolving human difficulties.

Look at how some human beings become embroiled in philosophical disputes and arguments. When a local, regional or national government does not function in a manner in conjunction with one’s political philosophy there can be outrage at those who hold the opposite political beliefs. When people hold a certain economic philosophy that they believe is the best way to conduct the human economy they often do not give any credence to aspects of other economic philosophies that may have merit. When human beings hold a particular religious belief there can be outrage, mistreatment and intolerance towards those who have different religious beliefs. Wanting our fellow human beings to think as oneself is unrealistic and often antithesis to living in harmony with our fellow human beings.

If we are to live in a world where we are a unified species we need a philosophical ideology that all of us can believe in and adopt in our everyday affairs. Such a belief system will enable us to work together for our collective best interests. A “better life philosophy” will do this.

A “better life philosophy” states that I will make life better for myself, others and planet earth. This is a very simple concept with far ranging implications. Too often we try to look at life from the separate perspective of oneself or other people or the earth. Now we can think of these big three areas as one. When someone is trying to create a better life for oneself and one’s family we now have to throw in the mix our fellow human beings and the earth as well. Anything less leaves unwanted problems as a ripple effect of our inability to simultaneously put other people and the earth into one’s personal and societal equation.

Having a “better life philosophy” as an overarching belief system enables us to enter into an objective discussion about what we are doing in our daily affairs. It will help us to focus our attention upon one’s thoughts and behaviors, whether it is for each of us as individuals or all of us as a collective species. We will have a criteria to meet of whether what we do is actually working for the benefit of oneself, society and the earth or whether we are falling short in meeting the nine basic requirements for a better life and better world.

A “better life philosophy” will not diminish one’s personal belief systems that have life enhancing qualities but only reinforce them. The goodness that is part of most ideologies will still be there and we will simultaneously see the goodness in the ideologies held by our fellow human beings. Our ability to join forces and make this the last century for most human problems will become easier with a common worldwide philosophical ideology.

After thinking about my personal philosophical beliefs I now realize that most of the time I have been living my life wanting and striving for a better life for myself, others and planet earth. I can also see that most of my fellow human beings have many aspects of a “better life philosophy” at the heart of their belief systems even if we do not call it by this name.

DAY 52 – KEY ASPECT: IMMATURITY VERSUS MATURITY

It is my twenty fifth birthday today. After I blew out the candles on the cake my parent’s started to reflect back on the various stages I went through over the past two and a half decades. There were so many things I did that they were amazed about, concerned about and laughed at that made them cherish these past twenty five years.

One major aspect of my progression since the time I was born is that I have evolved into a young man who now makes decisions that are beneficial for myself, my fellow human beings and the earth. I go to work, volunteer in a local organization, try to act friendly and cooperative with other people and I am close to and involved with my friends and family. While I act this way now, I wasn’t at my best behavior when I was growing up.

My parents tell me that around the age of two I would throw tantrums if I could not get my way. While this lasted for a couple of years, my poor attitude did not end there. I spent most of my youth being annoyed at the slightest of provocations. I did not want to listen to my parents, teachers or anyone else. In the first grade I started to say mean things to other kids and became known as a bully by the entire school. I was uncooperative and did not care if my actions caused others distress. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do no matter what anyone said or the effects it had.

In high school my behavior changed after taking a psychology class. We were given a book to read about maturity. In the book it compared what an immature person is like versus a mature human being. It pointed out that an immature person thinks of himself or herself without taking into consideration other people. While I was often told that I didn’t consider the ramifications of my actions, this time it struck a chord. Seeing myself realistically as that immature person who created so many problems for myself and who caused others to feel bad finally became the difference between then and now.

Looking back at my immature youth I can now understand the uselessness of arguing with my parents instead of listening to them and trying to understand their point of view. I can now understand how I wasted my time cutting class and not trying to do my best in school. I can now see how I hurt other kids when I said the meanest things to them or did not treat the girls I dated with respect.

Adults can be just as immature as someone who is young. Is there any difference because of age when an adult yells and screams, gets into a physical altercation, says demeaning things to other people, does not want to hear someone’s point of view, pollutes the earth or thinks that they are always right. While a person can act mature in so many instances, the moments when immaturity occurs is when someone is one percent off.

Immaturity makes us ignore or rationalize what we know is poor behavior. We do not want to comprehend any pitfalls that may arise. It doesn’t matter whether it is a young child or a fully grown adult, the lack of momentary or long term insight and acknowledgement into the ramifications of our actions is the immaturity that needs to be addressed in order to change immaturity into maturity.

Life is very simple. A mature human being is someone who treats not only oneself but everyone else with kindness, dignity and respect. They show this by the uplifting words they say. They know that everyone needs a helping hand even with the mundane tasks but especially so in the most trying of times. Going out of your way not to be the creator of problems and trying to rid the world of our collective difficulties is the sign of a very mature human being.

As I look back on my life I now realize that growing up is not the same as growing into a mature person. Maturity has a direct correlation to being in tune with one’s thoughts and actions that contribute to making life better for oneself, others and the earth. The difference between immaturity and maturity is the difference between living one’s life in darkness and not seeing the entire picture or living one’s life in the brightest of lights and understanding the beautiful mosaic.

DAY 53 – KEY ASPECT: LISTENING AND SEEING IS NOT HEARING AND UNDERSTANDING

I am in the middle of an argument with my boss at work. He is annoyed at me because of a project that didn’t get completed in the timeline he expected it would. I tried to explain that a situation developed in a particular phase of the project that caused a backup in everything that would follow. He nonetheless did not want to know the reasons for the delay, he just wanted the project to be completed now and not later.

Over the years I have seen people become embroiled in heated arguments. Oftentimes one person involved in the argument tries to explain their actions to the other person. The explanation falls on deaf ears. While the second person is listening to the other person he or she is not fully hearing what is being said.

Fully hearing someone is getting to understand a situation from the other person’s perspective. When we can better grasp a person’s reasons for what they think and do, we can better understand that individual. No one will necessarily agree with everything someone does or the reasons for it, but they can develop a better understanding of why that person thinks and acts as he or she does.

When we just listen and see without hearing and understanding we only know our fellow human beings on the surface and not what is really going on inside of them. We do not know what their reasons are for a particular thought or behavior. The real person lies beneath the surface and hearing and understanding allows us to get to know others on a deeper level. Such insights create the openings for more relevant discussions that have the potential to make breakthroughs that bring about behaviors that are beneficial for everyone concerned.

Think about all the discord that takes place surrounding differing political and economic philosophies. Discussions often tend to be about each side advocating for a certain concept without hearing and understanding the reasons behind someone else’s beliefs. This lack of insight into why people believe what they believe tend to put people into their own political and economic corner of the boxing ring. The only recourse they then have is to stand firm for their belief systems and not give any credence to other ideologies. Finding a middle ground where we can take the best of each side’s beliefs and combine it into a better whole becomes next to impossible.

After leaving the meeting with my boss I now realize that much of the disrespect and discord we have in this world is related to an inability to hear and understand what lies beneath the surface of our fellow human beings. Finding the maturity to listen and understand instead of just hearing and seeing changes the discussions from solely advocating for one’s ideology and behavior into a search for the best way forward.

DAY 54 – KEY ASPECT: ACTING MATURE IN THE FACE OF IMMATURITY: WHEN THE OTHER PERSON ACTS IN A MANNER DETRIMENTAL TO A BETTER LIFE AND BETTER WORLD

A friend of mine is an eighteen year old girl about to graduate from high school who is in love with her boyfriend of two years. At first their relationship was really good. They did things together each of them enjoyed and he treated her well. Six months into their relationship he started to become easily upset with her with yelling and verbal assaults as his way of showing displeasure. After a couple months of being treated this way she could not take it anymore so she started to yell back and verbally insult him. She had never acted this way before towards anyone.

While there have been many loving moments that bring joy to both of them there are also too many instances of heartache. Being often told she is stupid and cannot do anything right, she would like to go back to the beginning of their relationship where he treated her with dignity and respect. While her love for him prevents her from ending the relationship she does not know what to do to have him always treat her better.

Immaturity is at the heart of so many personal problems. When a three year old acts out and screams uncontrollably when he is told by a parent not to do something he wants to do, it is a child’s immaturity that causes the outburst. When a person weaves in and out of traffic on a highway while cutting off any cars in its path it is the immaturity of the driver not caring about other people that propels such behavior. When a person belittles someone else because of a certain belief or because of the group he or she belongs to, it is the immaturity of the offender that makes it okay to say such things.

Reacting to immaturity with immaturity happens quite often. My eighteen year old friend did not know how to maturely respond to her boyfriend’s yelling and verbal abuse so after months of being treated poorly she responded in kind with an immaturity of her own by yelling and verbally insulting him back. A person’s inconsiderate driving habits can be met with an immaturity by someone else doing the same thing to the original offender. Responding to belittling statements because of group affiliation with belittling remarks or with a physical assault is also an act of immaturity.

Think back to when you yelled and shouted back at someone who is yelling and shouting at you. Did that act of responding in kind to immaturity lead to the other person suddenly calming down and wanting to rationally discuss the dispute or did it just bring on more anger aimed at you. Did a person in the heat of an argument who insulted you suddenly apologize because of you coming back with an insult of your own or did the argument become more intense. Did physically assaulting someone who lied to you or violated your trust ever change what has already taken place. Immature responses to immature actions rarely help to immediately solve a problem and it quite often escalates the difficulties two people may be having.

A mature response to immaturity is what we need if we are to change a chaotic scenario to one of harmony. Showing kindness and respect to an unkind and disrespectful action has the potential to change the behavior of a person who mistreats you. Staying calm when someone is out of control gives the person who is calm more ability to calm the out of control person and diffuse the situation. While it sometimes may be difficult to show kindness, respect and to stay calm in a chaotic situation, striving to create a peaceful environment is worth the effort.

Thinking about my friend and her boyfriend I now realize that everyone needs to transcend the immature actions of others by having a mature response. Maturity leads to harmonious interactions and relationships and helping someone to get back into that mode of thinking and behaving changes the dynamics of the situation.

DAY 55 – KEY ASPECT: ACTING MATURE IN THE FACE OF IMMATURITY: WHEN SOCIETAL ACTIONS ARE DETRIMENTAL TO A BETTER LIFE AND BETTER WORLD

Earlier tonight I left a stadium after watching my team win the world championship. The exuberance of our home crowd was amazing throughout the game and many of us carried this enthusiasm into the streets. What followed was completely out of my normal character.

Outside the stadium, I came upon a group of about fifty faithful fans who were hollering and giving one another high fives. Suddenly, two people jumped on a car and then other people jumped on more cars. Before I knew it, I joined in. This escalated to where cars were being overturned and two cars were set on fire. I do not know why I got caught up in damaging and destroying cars that people in our community own.

When I came home the exuberance of my team winning a championship didn’t seem as important as my participation with those few fans who damaged and destroyed cars. I started to think about other people who get caught up in destructive behaviors based upon what other people are doing or saying. Some listen to those who dispense hate towards people of a certain nationality, religion, race, ethnicity or sexual orientation and they eventually adopt the same beliefs. Some become members of a group, whether it is a violent gang in their neighborhood, a cult that isolates their members from society or a ruthless leader that they join in battle. In each case they find something appealing and become part of it.

Young children do not want to jump on cars and set them on fire. They do not want to hate people who are different than they are. They do not want to join a violent gang, a cult that separates them from their parents and siblings or a leader who leads others into armed warfare. At some point in time a small number of human beings change and respond to immature beliefs and actions with an immaturity of their own by adopting certain beliefs and engaging in certain actions that are not beneficial for society as a whole.

When a person or group advocates for violence, a mature human being will reject it. When an individual believes in an ideology that advocates for one’s own group at the expense of other groups, a mature human being will reject it. When anyone advocates for a self-centered approach to life that does not take into consideration all of their fellow human beings around the planet along with the welfare of the earth, a mature human being will reject it.

A solid psychological foundation will enable human beings to reject any idea or action that creates a problem for oneself, others or our earth. Such a foundation will create a mindset that cannot be suddenly swayed into believing or doing something that is contrary to one’s previous beneficial beliefs and actions. No matter what is going on in the world around us a solid psychological foundation will allow a person to respond to societal immaturity in a mature manner.

Having a consciousness that understands how thoughts affect every person can immunize people from getting caught up in societal beliefs and behaviors that cause problems. A person can distinguish between ideologies that advance humanity forward from those that do not. A person can be more objective when they analyze societal actions based upon what has and is actually occurring from what they believe in. The better world that humanity desires requires this kind of maturity.

As I am thinking about my actions earlier tonight I now realize that getting caught up in the immaturity that pervades groups of people is contrary to my desire to live in a better world. I know that joining groups that hold anti-thoughts and hate people who are different than oneself does not make sense. I know that rationalizing poor behavior just because it comes from people who are like oneself does not make sense. My ability to act mature in the face of a large segment of society thinking and acting in a self-centered manner requires a steadfast ideology that incorporates the welfare of all of humanity.

DAY 56 – KEY ASPECT: THE SHORTSIGHTED VIEW OF THINKING SHORTSIGHTED: SHORT TERM VERSUS LONG TERM THINKING

For the past hour I have been watching a group of ten year old children on a soccer team practicing how to keep a soccer ball at their feet while simultaneously running forward. They would continuously look down at the ball making sure that the ball would not stray away from their feet. They did not lift their heads to see what is in front of them or what is off to their sides.

Life can be like keeping your head down and just concentrating on what is at your feet. Without having a vision of what may lie ahead a person cannot see the possibilities for what may follow. The life that you want to have and the world that you want to live in becomes limited by the short term visualizations without taking into consideration the longer and wider aspects of life.

We hamper ourselves by not thinking about the future with the same vigor as we do with what lies right in front of us. How many people do not have nutritious food to eat, clean water to drink or a decent home to live in? How many physical and psychological health issues develop because we do not consider what may arise thirty years down the road? How many relationships fall apart because we do not treat the people we love with loving actions that can stand the test of time? How much discord is created between human beings of different nationalities, religions, races, ethnicities and sexual orientations that is passed down to future generations? How often do we carry out human affairs without incorporating the earth’s long term welfare into the equation?

Life is one continuous journey of day after day events. While the here and now seems to be what matters the most as it is happening, we forget that each moment leads to the next moment, each thought leads to the next thought and each action precedes the actions that follow. Putting all of our beliefs and energy into what we are doing at that moment is like having a blinder on as to what may develop. The future eventually becomes the present when it arrives.

After watching those kids practice I now realize that quite often my thoughts and actions are based upon my perceptions of how I will benefit in the short term without taking into consideration the longer term consequences. It is possible and essential to think about and act in ways that are beneficial now while simultaneously doing it in a manner that also incorporates a better tomorrow. It is imperative that we leave future generations a better world.

DAY 57 – KEY ASPECT: FREEDOM VERSUS RESPONSIBLE FREEDOM

I am taking a hike on the side of a mountain overlooking a beautiful valley below filled with trees as far as the eyes can see. There are birds flying over the treetops with a freedom that lets them soar. The tranquility of the setting is so peaceful that I just want to take it in.

I start to think about the freedom that the birds have to be just birds. Their lives are filled with searching for food and flying from one location to another. Human beings, on the other hand, have a mind that enables us to think about life and make choices along with a dexterity to carry out those choices that birds and other life forms do not have.

The choices that human beings make can be profound. We can alter our environment by bulldozing through a mountain or going around it. We can grow food in the most hospitable and difficult regions while leaving large segments of humanity without this absolute necessity. We can keep our waterways and oceans clean or dump pollutants into them. We can disparage and hate our fellow human beings or we can welcome everyone with open arms into the human community. We can build upon what our ancestors have bequeathed to us or tear down the fabric of a better world. There is a profound difference between having the freedom to think and act as each of us wants versus living freely while doing it in a responsible manner.

The only restrictions a free human being has is what each of us place on ourselves. If someone wants to verbally insult their spouse or child what is there to stop them. If someone does not want to consider their actions in relation to what is also best for humanity there is no law against it. If someone does not want to volunteer in their community to help those in need no one will knock on their door and force them to help others.

The better world that human beings want to live in requires all of us to act with a responsibility to one another. We have to take into consideration the welfare of all of our fellow human beings and the earth when we do what we do. We need to think about the consequences of our actions that will not only impact our world today but also have far reaching effects on future generations. The more personal and societal problems we prevent from developing the better the world becomes.

As I came to the end of walking through this beautiful and tranquil mountain setting I now realize that there is a significant difference between living life with the freedom to think and act as I wish to do versus living life with a higher responsibility than just to myself and the people I love. When we work together for a better future for all of humanity we are living life in a very responsible manner.

DAY 58 – KEY ASPECT: HABITS

I know a fifty year old man who has an alcohol and drug addiction. When he occasionally does not drink or take drugs he is a good worker. Unfortunately, he cannot go for more than a week or two until his addiction takes over which prevents him from holding a steady job.

One day when he was sober I asked him when he started to drink and take drugs. He said he was sixteen years old. I then asked him if there was anything that happened prior to him starting to drink and take drugs that may have contributed to him becoming addicted to it. He said a few months before he took his first drink his father died. As we continued to talk it became obvious that at the age of sixteen his sadness and loneliness from the loss of his father led him to medicate himself with alcohol and drugs. As time went on alcohol and drugs became a daily routine.

Habits usually have the most simplest of beginnings. One day each of us does something and for some reason we do the exact same thing a second time. Before we realize it years have gone by and a daily or weekly habit has become a constant in each of our lives.

Habits do not have to be as catastrophic as this fifty year old person’s daily addiction. It can be the everyday routine of eating certain foods, taking a certain road to work, watching certain television programs or having a particular hobby. When a person does the same thing over and over again it is a personal habit that is part of his or her life.

Another habit human beings have is how each of us reacts to other people. When something does not go as you want it to some people get easily upset with an annoyance that sometimes erupts into fits of anger. They may get into arguments with their loved ones while staying calm with everyone else. They may poorly treat their employees and co-workers while staying calm with their children. On the other hand, many people just ignore the unpleasantries of others and continue on as if nothing has happened. Over time every person develops certain habitual reaction behaviors to certain people and what is going on around them.

There is also one other very important thing we might not think of as a habit but is none-the-less a habit. The silent words that we repeat to ourselves over and over again make up a person’s thought habits.

Consider the silent thoughts that people have who have low self-esteem, worry a lot, are egocentric, dislike and hate other people who are different than they are or believe in a particular ideology. A person who thinks of oneself as unworthy or incompetant says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who worries about themself, their loved ones or something going on in the world says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who thinks of oneself as superior and more worthy than their fellow human beings says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who dislikes or hates other people says something to themself specifically related to that. A person who has a particular philosophy of life says something to themself specifically related to that. No matter what the initial reason for thinking in a certain way about oneself or others and no matter how a person justifies in their mind those thoughts, repeating a thought over and over again creates a personal thought habit that is part of that individual’s life.

While human beings are one percent off because we do not always act in a beneficial manner for oneself, others and the earth, our ability to do the right thing the other ninety-nine percent of the time shows that our thoughts and behavior habits do us well at those times. Consistently showing kindness, consideration and respect towards your fellow human beings is a life enhancing habit. Consistently taking time away from a personal interest to give time to a family member, friend, neighbor or people in need is a habitual behavior towards others. Consistently reducing your carbon footprint and acting in a manner that helps the earth to thrive is a habitual behavior towards the earth.

Thinking about this person with an alcohol and drug addiction, I now realize that there are all kinds of habits that human beings have. I understand that there are certain thought and behavior habits that are detrimental to a better life and a better world while other thought and behavior habits help to create a better life and better world. I am the only person that can decide which habits will be a part of my life.

DAY 59 – KEY ASPECT: THE HUMAN SPIRIT

I am watching my neighbor’s three year old daughter play with a new toy. There is a curiosity along with joy and enthusiasm with this toy that is ever present. Something is going on inside of this little girl that words cannot adequately describe. Her personal human spirit is at work here.

Toys are not only what this little girl enjoys. She likes music, being silly, laughing, running, wanting to do things on her own, certain foods, tv shows and being read to. Her preferences along with what she does not like make up her personal human spirit.

The love and joy that flows through children when they are with their parents, siblings, grandparents and anyone else they are close to is readily visible. A child’s ability to light up at the sight of someone important to them is something marvelous to behold. While children can become upset one moment because of not getting their way they also can bounce back and be friendly and happy immediately thereafter. The spirit of a child is no different than that of an adult.

Words cannot describe why each of us like, love and want to spend more moments with certain people than others. Words cannot describe why we feel as we do when we show certain people that they matter so much to us. Words cannot describe the desire to act with kindness, consideration and respect towards our fellow human beings. Caring is what lies within each of us.

The human spirit allows us to create the underlying ideals for a better world. It gives us the belief that all human beings are equal. We believe in justice and fairness. We do not like it when someone is mistreated, whether by words or deeds.

The human spirit is also what allows us to persevere under the most difficult of times. When situations seem unbearable the human spirit gives us the fortitude to plough ahead and not give up. Believing that a better tomorrow is there for the taking we do not quit.

On the other side, the human spirit is also a fragile thing. Life has a way of being harsh at times and when it becomes overly unbearable a person’s spirit may become affected. A negativity can set in that results in frustration, anger and in the worst of all situations a despondency that leads to a loss of hope.

Without the spirit of hope many do not have that inner belief that allows for problematic situations to be squarely faced and successfully rectified. The mindset that says I can do this is replaced by nothing will change or it can’t be done. The more one loses hope the less likely a person will march forward with an inner belief that conquers all.

Luckily for us our ancestors’ collective spirit has given us far more good than the difficulties that exist today. They never gave up hope for a better tomorrow and made technological progress along with humanitarian ideals that transformed the world. We just need to add to their benevolence with the belief and spirit that will eventually make this the last century for most human problems.

After watching this three year old girl playing with a toy I now realize that there is something that lies within each and every human being that makes every person unique and who they are. From what a person gravitates towards and who they want to spend their time with, a person’s individual spirit is at work. When we show kindness, consideration and respect to others and when we care about the welfare of and come to the aid of our fellow human beings this is when we project the best of the human spirit onto the world.

DAY 60 – KEY ASPECT: TECHNOLOGY CHANGES THE WORLD

I am looking at a picture of my great grandmother standing in front of a car when she was fourteen years old. You can only see a few feet of the front of the car and cannot make out what type of model it was. Since she was born in 1908 this car has to be one from the early stages of mass produced cars.

The technological revolution that began in the early part of the twentieth century could be seen as the revolution that opened up the human world to a vastness of possibilities. No longer would people be bound to where they were born. They could more easily travel to far off places. They could receive products more easily made somewhere else. This was the real beginning to having more than just the life they were born into.

Fast forward one hundred years and not only have cars advanced in their capabilities but advancements in technology have transformed the human world in profound ways. Technological advancements in the form of vertical farming is now possible and could someday enable all of humanity to feed ourselves without any disruptions and do it in a clean and environmentally sustainable manner. Alternative forms of energy in the coming decades could give humanity an endless supply of clean energy right at our fingertips. Because of the mapping of the human genome research has been taking place to uncover which specific cells are responsible for certain illnesses and diseases thereby leading to further research that may someday prevent and cure most, if not all, diseases. Not only are more of us living into our eighties, nineties and past one hundred but we are also living our lives with better health.

While the twentieth century gave us many products that made life easier for more people than ever before, the twenty-first century with the technological inventions of the internet and iphone may someday be most known for humanity coming together in ways never before thought possible. The internet gives us the ability to attain the knowledge we can use in transforming our world for the better while the iphone with text messaging allows us to instantly share information, unite people around worthy causes and take the necessary actions that make life less burdensome. We do have the capability to make this the last century for most human problems.

While looking at the picture of my great grandmother standing by that car I now realize that transformative technological advancements continually make life easier and better for people around the planet. Unfortunately, not every human being is able to take advantage of those breakthroughs. Humanity today can change that. Human beings today can take the insights and knowledge that will create a better world and use it in ways like no other generation ever did.

DAY 61 – KEY ASPECT: CONSTANTLY ADJUSTING TO LIFE

I am driving on a highway on my way home after work. With eight miles to go before the exit I usually take I see the cars ahead of me begin to slow down until they come to a standstill. As we slowly creep forward I know there is an exit about a mile ahead that will take me to a road that will be without traffic. While this path home is a little longer in mileage it is much better than creeping along on a congested roadway.

Life itself is similar to altering what roads you take when you are in a traffic jam. All of us have things we do in a certain manner and most of the time we live our lives in our normal routines. On the other hand, situations develop that alters our ability to do what we want to do, how we go about doing it and if and when we can do it. The ramifications of adjusting or not adjusting to how life is at any given moment in time, especially for the most important things in one’s life, can be profound.

Look at how life on a personal level has a way of changing. When a parent takes a new job and the family has to move to a different city children do not want to leave their friends and the life that they have known. A person may believe everything is going well in their romantic relationship until the other person decides to end it. An illness can disrupt a person’s ability to be self-sufficient. Holding a job for decades may be lost because of a downturn in the company’s business. When life is turning out as you want it to human beings have the ability to handle life in a level headed manner but when unwanted and unexpected changes occur people often do not adequately and rationally deal with unsettling situations that come their way.

Since the beginning of the twentieth century technology has been changing how we live our lives. The horse and buggy has been replaced by automobiles. Going to a movie theater to see the news on a screen was replaced by a television in your home and today we can find information about any subject we want to know about via the internet. The new often displaces and permanently makes the old an antiquated entity.

Human beings are healthier and living longer lives today than ever before. The genome project has given those who want to understand the human body the ability to look deeper into our cells in order to find out how they function. With more knowledge about the human body humanity is in the midst of having to adjust itself not only to healthier living but also to much longer lifespans.

Computer technology has also changed how we manufacture, purchase and distribute products. Because of automation in our manufacturing facilities we need fewer human beings to produce the products we need and use. In the past everything human beings bought had to be done in person but it is now simpler and easier for people to shop and order things online. Self driving cars and drones are in its beginning stages of development and may someday be the preferred way of moving from one locale to another and how society distributes most of the things we want.

No matter whether change occurs slowly or is sudden and swift some people find it hard to adapt to the new. Their thoughts and behaviors have become ingrained and like any habit the new is antithesis to the old. This is why people have difficulty embracing change even when they want something different.

So many people are psychologically and emotionally tied to the ways they have been living life. They feel comfortable and at ease with their personal lives and the world at large that they are used to. When a person’s job has become obsolete because of newer technology that changes what we do and how we do it they cannot be objective and understand how humanity is in a constant search for newer and better ways of producing our products. When a relationship has many arguments and disputes many people would rather continue with that type of a relationship than have it end. When it can be shown how certain aspects of the way we conduct human affairs have a negative societal consequence some ignore the evidence because it would require changing how we go about living our lives in favor of something new and different.

A steadfastness to the old just keeps individuals and society stuck in their own roadblock. They cannot escape decades of silent words that they adhere to. For many to change, especially those who are older, it requires a prolonged gestation period before they can replace an old norm with a new belief system or a new behavioral pattern. The young have an easier time accepting and adapting to new ideas about life and new ways of conducting human affairs because they are not held down by habits of thought and behaviors that are fully ingrained within them compared to those who are older.

As I am driving on this alternate roadway I now realize that life cannot adjust itself to how I think and act but I have to adjust myself to what is occurring in the world. Becoming upset and distraught with something that is not my norm or the norm of society does not serve my best interests or society’s interests. I will find more calmness, peacefulness and inner harmony along with an ability to adequately deal with what comes my way when I can psychologically adjust myself to the new and different.

DAY 62 – KEY ASPECT: THE RIPPLE EFFECT: THE INTERCONNECTEDNESS OF LIFE (RAMIFICATIONS FOR HOW WE THINK, FEEL AND ACT)

I am at a friend’s house situated alongside a lake. Their six year old son is throwing tiny pebbles into the lake. Each one creates small ripples in the water that permeates outwards. Suddenly this boy takes a larger stone and when it hits the water a much larger ripple is sent out in all directions.

Every morning when each of us awakens we are simultaneously sending out ripples in the world. The silent words each of us say to ourselves plays a role in a person’s actions that day. Those words can make us appear kind and considerate or so self-centered that we rush around appearing to not care about the welfare of those we come in contact with. We sometimes forget that other people matter also and any inconsideration, indifference or anger we show towards someone stems from the ripples of certain silent words said to oneself.

The person on the receiving end of harsh words and detrimental actions may create their own ripples within themself. They can become annoyed, angry, lose confidence in themselves or feel terrible. That in turn ripples out into the world by their actions and a small, if not larger, chain reaction has begun. So much of the negativity in the world is that of being affected by what we see, hear and read and that affect is often nothing more than the ripples that are part of a detrimental chain reaction.

Living in a world where we separate ourselves into members of a specific nationality, religion, race, ethnicity and sexual orientation creates ripples in and of itself. For some group members they look at life from a self-centered group approach and do not treat people who belong to another group with the same kindness, decency, fairness and consideration as they do their own group members. When this occurs they are conveying that they only care about people who are like themselves. Sending out such a message creates a devastating ripple where people cannot live in harmony with one another because they are not treated with the best of intentions.

The world that human beings want to live in is one where the ripples that are sent out are that of being thoughtful, considerate, kind and cooperative. Such actions create silent words in the person who experiences the best in others that says the world is filled with good and decent human beings. The ripples of such a mindset are profoundly beneficial.

When someone is thought of as being good, kind, decent and cooperative it creates a ripple of trust. With trust people lose any sense of apprehension towards that person. Without apprehension anxiousness and fear subsides and people can more easily come together for everyone’s mutual benefit.

In today’s world where it is easy to access all types of news we sometimes forget that human beings turn out okay ninety-nine percent of the time. It is here that humanity is sending out the positive ripples that enhance our world. It is here that a better life and a better world exists.

As we are walking from the lake to my friend’s house I now realize that every human being is creating ripples in the world based upon how they think, feel and act. To create a better world each of us has to be cognizant of the words we say to others and the actions we take and how they ripple their way into the lives of our fellow human beings.

DAY 63 – KEY ASPECT: WISDOM WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME (IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW)

I am sitting on my porch thinking about the time when I was a boy growing up and my father would give me examples of the things he did in order for me to better understand the consequences of my actions. While I sometimes would grasp what he was saying I fully did not comprehend what he was trying to do until years later.

One of his favorite things he would say is “If only I had known then what I know now.” He would describe some of the mistakes he had made during the course of his life that he wished he hadn’t made. He would tell me that those errors in judgement were really errors in his thinking. Over time he came to realize that with experience his insights into life had grown and if he had those same insights in the past he would not have done some of the things that he did.

As a person becomes older seeing one’s life from the perspective of hindsight gives us a view of life that we do not get while living life at that moment. Human beings can become engrossed in what they are doing to the point that they do not see the bigger picture and therefore sometimes do not act in their own best interests, let alone the best interests of their fellow human beings. When this happens is there any difference between a fully grown adult and a two year old child who does not even have the adult mind to consider the difference between beneficial and detrimental behaviors.

As a person ages adults comprehend that certain past actions have not been that of a mature human being. The wisdom that accrues over time contributes to the realization that each of us not only could have but should have done certain things differently. So many personal problems would not have occurred if only human beings could have the wisdom at an earlier age that most people get as the years go.

As I am looking back at my life, I now realize that there were times when I should not have acted as I did when I was younger. The insights into what makes my life better was wanting then but as I have become older I have a better understanding of what constitutes a better life and how it can be created. “If only I had known then what I know now” I would have said different silent words to myself and thus acted in a manner that did not make my life more difficult and did not cause other people to have problems.